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Well, as many of you know by now, my birthday
present this year was to find that the big C is back, and grew back
during my chemotherapy treatment!?! My specialists are stunned that this
happened "given we'd attacked with the full arsenal of chemo". Yep its a
mean aggressive cancer and is determined to stay - not if we can help
it!!! Looking back, my gut instincts were correct, but I let my
doctors tell me they knew better...
(1) Asked for mammogram several months before my big first lump found -
doc talked me out of having one!?
(2) When lump finally found (measuring a large 3.5cm), a different doc
suggested it was an infection, I demanded mammogram, where it was
quickly determined to be cancer!
(3) After op, they told me that the standard treatment protocol was
operation > chemotherapy > radiotherapy. I wanted radiation before chemo
- but was told oooh no, chemo first. So we did that and cancers grew
back during it?! According to radiologist, I've been proven right!?!
(4) I've been complaining for the past few months that the re-affected
area felt weird and was getting weirder, feeling hard, tight etc. Was
told it was just swelling from chemo - it was actually the lumps growing
back. It was me who asked AGAIN for the hard area to be looked at, that
finally saw the cluster of new lumps identified as such.
So, given all the above, one of the first
things I told my specialist after the new diagnosis was in was "From now
on, my concerns are to be listened to! No more breast checks, waste of
time! I want ultrasounds instead (lumps show up beautifully on those)"
to which she said "fair enough!". Hopefully this new approach isn't to
late for me?!
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So my situation now is: Where once there was 1,
now there are 7 - biggest lump already measuring up to 2.8cm in diameter
(Ideal size for lumps is under 1cm)!?! Remember this is in a breast-less
area - and my specialist didn't feel them when he examined that area every 3
weeks, last check was less than a month before those measurements were
taken! Mammogram everyone - mammogram! I've just
finished the last of pre-planned radiation treatments, and have just
begun on the new intensive radiation starts - another piece of a jigsaw,
excludes what already has been treated and goes further up so that
overall a broader area has been treated. On top of that they will be
doing stronger blasts on the existing lump mass. The plan is for
radiation to shrink them down to nothing = no more surgery. I've been
assured that radiation will shrink them down, maybe not all the way, but
certainly reverse the growth. So at least another 6 weeks of radiation
lies ahead of me!?! Radiation treatment are
done EVERY weekday, in at Auckland hospital in town. It is a major
headache getting in there every day when you have 2 young children to
arrange care for in your absence, traffic congestion and limited parking
options when you get there!!! Radiation is only available in the public
system, so trying to book times to suit when both girls are in school &
creche is not always possible. Even when they do get it right, it means
that most of the time that Emily is in creche (when mothers normally get
the house in order, grocery shop etc) I'm busy getting to and from the
hospital! So keeping up with everything at home is a major effort when I
should really be resting... Friends will have noticed a big delay in my
responding to emails, phone calls etc - my deepest apologies - I've
simply been busy keeping all the balls in the air! |
Me looking a tad battle-weary a month before the bad news struck! |
As my updates on this webpage are only about
every 3 months, and I know many of you want more regular updates on my
situation, I've set up an on-line diary
walking through this recurrance day by day, which I will update
regularly.
Thanks so much to everyone out there for your kind wishes, thoughts and
support :o)
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